Fifty years used to seem like a lifetime to me. Now it’s an amazing memory.
College showed me how big the world is. New friends came from all over to follow their dreams. God began to show me that He had dreams for me too. My dream to make $1,000,000 didn’t seem so fulfilling anymore. My classes became pointless as I focused this ministry call. Urgent! was the cry as we set out to change the world. How could the older generations not see that we are in a sprint to the finish? Where is their zeal?
My 20s brought marriage and kids. God began teaching me more about His heart. Being a father gave me a whole new perspective on God’s heart for me. I was filled with impatience for purpose to begin. When would I start making a difference. Dead ends seemed like God was playing a cruel joke with me. Didn’t He see that I wanted to do great stuff for Him?
My 30s finally brought settling. We moved to Nashville. We bought our first house. I started full-time ministry with Grace Ministries Tennessee. I had arrived. My productive life could start. The marathon began. I didn’t make it out of my 30s without coming face to face with the brokenness of this world. My mom died in an auto accident. If someone so wonderful can be ripped from my life, then my hope can’t rest on anything in this world.
My 40s brought aches and pains. I also learned that when I rested with Jesus, I accomplished more than when I tried to serve him. I learned that He celebrated me. I found more freedom in being myself and enjoying life. I learned to spend time with Jesus when I felt like it, not because I was supposed to. (I ended up spending more time with Him.) Jesus has become a friend.
As I’m entering my 50s I’m hearing Him say, “Trust me, Friend.” He is already inviting me to let go of all the “control” I have of my life and let Him accomplish what He wants. He just wants me to walk with Him and live life with Him. Whatever He calls me to, He’ll show me. Whatever He does, He’ll invite me to join Him. For 50 years He has been patiently bringing me to this place of letting go and resting in His love and faithfulness. He has been teaching me His power, His wisdom and now His intimate love. With those 3 things in place, why would I trust my wisdom? Lord, teach me to trust You. Draw my focus to You, away from the circumstances of life that keep me figuring rather than resting.
Thanks so much Dale. I really needed this today!
Charlotte
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