As a counselor, executive coach, inspirational speaker, award-winning author of eleven books, and the daughter of an abusive, passive, and emotionally-absent father, I have been impacted by the imprint of the vital role of fathers. Although we live in an empowered society where men and fathers often get a bad rap, the reality is our fathers, regardless of being positive or negative, have impacted and modeled our lives consciously and subconsciously.
Proof has been offered biblically, historically, scientifically, and clinically that fathers set the areas of feminity for daughters, masculinity for sons, and protection and a sense of being cherished for wives. Fathers are vital and hate it or appreciate it, they have been placed as a proper example of how we should see our Father in heaven.
Of course, our fathers, like all of us, are mere humans who fail, make mistakes, and are imperfect. They are not God but representative of the relationship of a “Good” father and leader in our lives.
If fathers are so important does that mean that the incredible single mother or grandmother who raised me did not do a good job? I am NOT saying that at all. Although my father was in the home, my mother was the head of the house. We will deal with that situation during this series. Many wonderful women have done the best they could in situations they did not choose for themselves. Historically, there have been certain races and cultures that often had mothers as the only source of providers and caretakers. I am proud of those women knowing they did the best they could do.
This series is not to blame, bash, or put down mothers or fathers. Quite the opposite, it is to educate, inspire, encourage, uplift, inform, and share the importance of men, specifically as fathers, to heal relationships, past curses and hurts, and bring understanding to assist in our identity (one trying to find out who they are outside of media or social pressures) issues as a whole.
A woman is no less important than a man. However, in the life of a child, a mother holds a different molding factor than a father. As a daughter, I learn my feminity (how to respond to a man, set healthy boundaries with a man, etc.) from my father not my mother. That is why a daughter often marries a man just like their father even if they dislike him. I learn to model, nurture, and value from my mother. That’s why a daughter’s behavior and values for things often are similar to her mother’s even if she dislikes her mother.
As a son, he learns his masculinity (how to be a man, respond to a woman, lead, etc. ) from his father. He learns how to love and be nurtured by his mother. Even a wonderful, loving, incredible mother cannot give a boy his masculinity. It is like apples and oranges. An orange can want to help and love the apple with all of its heart. However, the orange cannot help the apple to be an apple. The apple needs to grow on an apple tree to fully develop. If the orange is the apple’s only source of development, it will not be a surprise when the apple begins to accept and take on characteristics of orange. That is all the apple knows and even might begin to believe it is not an apple but more like an orange.
If you have not figured it out, I am a woman. As such, I can encourage men, share perspectives from a woman’s point of view, and even offer insights from a psychological viewpoint. However, what I cannot do as a woman is to help a man/father be one. So along with my encouragement, perspectives, and viewpoints, much of this series will be through the eyes of other fathers who failed, learned, are growing, and had wonderful and challenging experiences as a father and with their own.
I hope you will join me in this important series that I pray will change your life and those of your family.
If you are a father or man who is interested in sharing a story to encourage, inspire, positively educate, or challenge other fathers to be better, please send your 500 word or less story or questions to me at charlotte@charlottehunt.com
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Take care,
Charlotte
Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly, Trust Completely tm
Copyright © 2022 by Charlotte D. Hunt All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, or otherwise without written permission from the author except for brief quotations in printed reviews.
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