As a coach and counselor, the most difficult lesson my clients have to learn is this quote. It hurts so much when we are harmed and betrayed by others. We want someone to pay. However, until we can come to a point of saying 1) Yes, negative was done to me. However, in MY pain, I have probably hurt others. I must take responsibility. and 2) I can no longer blame another person, place, or thing for my happiness, joy, choices, anger, or sadness than I blame a television commercial appearing at a certain time. I cannot control others. I only have control over my responses, behavior, and choices…PERIOD. Once, we truly grasp that reality, we take our foot off of others’ necks and begin to walk in freedom and growth. You can do this. Be encouraged. www.charlottehunt.com.that those issues should not be there and that we, not the potter have control over the process and finished product.
Have you ever looked out of a window on a beautiful summer’s day and thought about what could have been? Have you ever witnessed a wrong, discovered a need, had a passion that stirred inside your heart, or felt drawn toward a specific path or direction and knew some way, somehow you were meant to do something about it? If you have ever felt those things, perhaps now is your time to begin or continue walking forward in pursuing the purpose, calling, dreams, and visions placed in you. Perhaps now you are being challenged to dream, to stretch yourself beyond what was reasonable, expected, and ordinary.
 I hope you are enjoying and finding encouragement through this series. Tomorrow, we will have a post from one of my favorite people and inspirations, David Green. He will be sharing an amazing post called, “A Father’s Influence” about his experience with fatherhood through the good and the bad. Please watch out for it tomorrow.
Today, I wanted to bless men, especially fathers. I predominately speak, teach, counsel, and work to encourage women regarding their past and present issues and situations that impede them from moving toward the future. However, a key in a female’s life stemming from childhood is held in her father. Hate it or appreciate it, the role of a man is vital to the femininity of girls as well as the masculinity of boys. One of the issues we see today in our search for identity stems from the fatherlessness (absent and/or passive fathers) in the homes.
Today’s post is not about blame or beating up men. It is about offering a blessing. In a society where, men are constantly torn down, can’t watch a toothpaste commercial without seeing a half-naked woman, and are continually put in positions of wanting to shut down, I wanted to offer men a blessing and a prayer from God’s perspective.
“Hello, son,
Yes, you are living in times of stress and confusion. I know each day you wake up full of stress and doubt putting on a strong face believing that it is required of you to lead your family. You go to work aiming to prove your worth to others who hold little value than a paycheck yet something burns inside you. You put on a face with the belief that you are strong and need to hold it together yet inside you are crumbling, heartbroken, and want to scream out your pain.
I know that over time, you have tried to shut down your pain with other things that are still not filling you. Around you lies an angry mate who has little respect for you due to your heart that refuses to lead. Your mind is available but your heart and passion to be more have left. Life, pressure, everything has become overwhelming.
Different lies come into your head. You might believe that because something happened to you long ago, you are destined to be what you experienced or what you were told. That is a lie. You might believe that because you feel good when you say there are no boundaries or consequences for your choices, there actually will be none. That is a lie. You might believe that because of wanting the freedom to show emotions and love and gauge uncertainty, you need to choose a certain identity. That is a lie. What you do is not who you are.
I am the Lord God. “The Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” (Rev 22:13) I created you from dust by my very hand to own and rule the earth. You are My prize. Your masculinity is given to you by Me not the world so it cannot be taken by the world. It cannot be taken by abuse, by bullying, by comparisons, by performance, by women, by employment, relationships, families, or anything else. Â
You don’t have to prove yourself to Me or to others that you have what it takes to be a man or to do whatever the world deems is important or masculine. You have My approval and My love so you do not have to wait for a father figure to give it to you to bestow manhood in order for you to be a “real” man. You do not have to hunt down “Bambi”, beat your chest, or go through any rituals in order to be declared a man. I created you once and for all, a man, and I am proud of you.
However, I created you for even more. I created you for the Garden, not the craziness you are experiencing now. No, you were not there with Adam. But when an offensive lineman jumps offside, the whole team, not just the lineman goes back. Unfortunately, when the first Adam made a choice, he made it for everyone to come. Yet, I gave you the gift of the second Adam through my Son, Jesus Christ. He laid down His life so you would not have to pay the price and be able to return to the Garden (Heaven) one day and have a relationship with Me. There is no trick or cost. It is a matter of simply saying, “Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ and desire to follow Him as Savior in my life.”
I created you to lead. Lead when you are dating a woman or in a marriage relationship. Treating her with kindness and understanding, being kind, gentle, and protective of her (1 Peter 3:7).
Lead your wife and family in taking initiative and responsibility for the direction of the home. Listen to your wife and always seek to do what is in her best interests (Ephesians 5:25, 28, Colossians 3:19).
Lead in treating the women in your life not as someone lesser but as an equal and fellow heir of eternal life in Jesus Christ (1 Peter 3:7).
Lead in training your children in My Word. (Ephesians 6:4).
Lead in providing for the home(1 Timothy 5:8).
Lead when you are in a position of temptation, resists the devil and stand firm against the flesh (James 4:7).
Lead in studying My Word (2 Timothy 2:15)Â
Lead in being a man devoted to prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and be a man who loves Me with all of your heart, soul, and strength (Luke 10:27).”
Be Still and Know that I am with you and I am Proud of you!
Your Abba Father
Be encouraged, it’s a journey, not a destination. Charlotte
“Unfortunately, the greatest lie Christians believe when suffering, struggles and loss comes to our door is that somehow we are being punished or God is angry with us. While, we certainly need to check and confess any known sin, unforgiveness or harm on our part, we can rest assured that the trial we are going through is part of a purpose and not revenge for behavior. In our pain, we fail to realize that life happens to all of us and God can stop anything. If our situation is allowed, there is always a purpose for our good, his glory and other edification involved.
It is through our trials, suffering and struggles that we find him and he remakes us for his great purpose. We learn to trust, love and unlearn the wrong through his loving allowance of trials in our life, not through times of joy and success. It is difficult to name one single person of greatest or even a great Bible character who escaped suffering and trials in order to prepare them for their purpose.”
As many know, I’m getting ready to publish my 10th book in July. I am excited and have hope that the words on the pages penetrate hearts as well as entertains the reader.
However, as a writer and speaker, I must admit I become overly concerned about how well my work and what I do are “Liked” by others and social media. I get worried if a post I place on Facebook or Instagram doesn’t get a like or reply. Often, when I am writing, I stop the beautiful process of writing outside of my head and think about if anyone will like or read my work.
Today, I was reminded in my quiet time and reading that only one thing that counts is what I do for the Lord and His approval. Regardless, of how many people “Like” me or approve of my work, I must come back to the question, “Am I doing and writing what I believe the Lord is directing me to do?” If the answer is yes, then I need to remember, He is in process of working out His plan and purpose that I cannot see. Yes, I might wonder what is going on and feel like I am not moving forward or being used. Yet, that is where I must trust that He knows the plan and I don’t.
Perhaps, you are feeling like that also. You are not getting the recognition or the following you desire and try to compare or do things to be like others. I encourage you as I encourage myself to remember if we are obedient to what the Lord is directing us to do, not only will we be amazed at what He does through our obedience, but we will be clearly walking in our purpose that pleases Him alone.
A few years ago when I was going through a major decision regarding a vision for my life, a wonderful encourager and friend reached out to me to write a beautiful email. His words gave me what I needed….the truth, not how I should feel or do from his viewpoint. I am honored by the few people I call my inner circle that know me enough to not try to fix but push me, love me enough to stay engaged no matter how much we might disagree on opinion, and have the courage and take the risk to ask me hard questions without knowing how I will respond.
Bryan sent this email to me and I re-read it every time I begin to question the plans of God or feel I need to be doing something because my life seems stalled or in order to bring His plans or my purpose about. The Lord, knowing my struggle since childhood with control and performance (basing worth & acceptance on what I do), has continually allowed situations to teach me how to get out the way of trying to do what only He can bring about. I love Him most because He loves me well, not how I want or think He should love me to be happy. Hard journey but oh how it is worth it!
I would like to share this email with you for your encouragement, strength, trust, and learning. May this email from Bryan (also see the archive for other posts from him) be a continual blessing to you as it is to me.
Dear Charlotte:
“It is always a joy hearing from you, and I couldn’t wait to respond. What you’re going through right now in regard to discerning God’s will sounds so familiar to me and is, I firmly believe, in keeping with the “ways” of God. Perhaps you’re familiar with this three-fold manner with which God leads His saints:
1) God births within us a vision–a burden for ministry and/or something noble and good. We get excited about it, and begin to make plans and formulate expectations as to how the fulfillment of such a vision would not only build us up but would also greatly impact the kingdom of God for His glory.
2) The second step is always the most painful step–God puts that vision to death. We are often left hurt, bewildered, and somewhat frustrated. It is at this point that God necessarily has to put to death our natural way of thinking and our noble attempts to accomplish in the flesh what only God can accomplish by His spirit. It is at this point where the saint must learn to rest in the Lord and trust God’s heart, and it is at this step that, unfortunately, many saints toss in the towel and give up, rather than adopt the attitude that God seeks, namely to accept that if this vision is ever going to be fulfilled, only God can do it.
3) The third step is what you might expect–After we have been made to “get out of the way,” God supernaturally brings about that vision which He birthed in us, but He does so in a manner in which He gets the glory–not us!
This sequence of 1) Birth of a vision, 2) Death of a vision, and 3) Resurrection of a vision, is all part of learning what, I believe, are the “ways of God.” Be encouraged Charlotte, and continue to trust the Lord to accomplish what is His perfect will in your life–and do it in a way that will unquestionably glorify Him and build you up in your faith. (I can’t wait to learn about the next chapter He’s writing in your life. Keep us posted, OK?) God bless.”