As a coach and counselor, the most difficult lesson my clients have to learn is this quote. It hurts so much when we are harmed and betrayed by others. We want someone to pay. However, until we can come to a point of saying 1) Yes, negative was done to me. However, in MY pain, I have probably hurt others. I must take responsibility. and 2) I can no longer blame another person, place, or thing for my happiness, joy, choices, anger, or sadness than I blame a television commercial appearing at a certain time. I cannot control others. I only have control over my responses, behavior, and choices…PERIOD. Once, we truly grasp that reality, we take our foot off of others’ necks and begin to walk in freedom and growth. You can do this. Be encouraged. www.charlottehunt.com.that those issues should not be there and that we, not the potter have control over the process and finished product.
My wife and I have matured and our marriage has matured. Time will do that. Life experience will do that, too. Because of what we have seen and experienced in our marriage, we are better prepared, and willing, to meet each other’s needs while at the same time preserving what is important to us, personally.
There have been plenty of high peaks in our marriage when loving each other was natural and easy. There have also been some deep valleys when we thought we just couldn’t get it together. We have discovered each day we do have the choice to commit to one another. Each day we have the choice to remain faithful to the marriage – faithful not just with sexual fidelity; although that is very important, but faithful in an emotional sense as well.
This list of 23 reasons I will always be faithful to Gloria comes from my heart to hers.. I hope you find some value in these for your own relationship, too:
She is my best friend. I would rather hang out with her than anyone else I know.
She shows me I’m worthy to be loved. I don’t feel like I’m the second choice in her life.
She takes me out of my comfort zone. Gloria challenges me and she doesn’t let me take the easy, or safe way out of a situation. She reminds me that to keep growing as a person, I must continue to face my fears and insecurities.
She is a terrific mother and parent. My wife is very connected with each of our two children.
She gives me all the time I need to work on our goals. Never a pouty reaction – just unconditional support.
She takes care of those who are hurting the most. Gloria wants ladies to be completely whole and what God wants them to be as a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.
She is the “homemaker” around the house. She makes the Whyte House a HOME……you feel the love and hospitality before you ring the doorbell.
She believes in me. No matter the circumstances or challenges, her belief in me never wavers. I can tell by looking into her eyes she truly believes I can do whatever I set out to do.
She has a forgiving heart. My wife doesn’t carry a grudge or harbor resentment for long periods of time. Once she has accepted my apology for something I have done and has chosen to forgive me – she means it and she lives it.
I still get excited when I get to see her for the first time in the day. My stomach still tingles with excitement when I know I’m only a few minutes from seeing her.
She tells me she loves several times throughout the day. Every phone call during the day ends with “I love you,” and the last thing I hear at night as I prepare to fall asleep is my wife loves me.
I respect her. Considering all she did for me, and our family, and the tremendous effort she places in making this world a better place for everybody else, I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect that commitment.
She watches Football games with me. She enjoys it, and she knows the players’ names, and she gets excited when her Oakland Raiders win (which is not often)!
I miss her when we are apart for a few days. Time away from each other is healthy and beneficial; the homecoming is even sweeter…watch OUT!
She doesn’t mind listening to sports-talk radio in the car. I never get the raised eyebrow look that says, “You expect me to listen to that?”
Sometimes she actually thinks I’m funny. She appreciates my wit and my well-timed comebacks. – she gets my sense of humor.
She still likes to hold hands when we take our after-dinner walks. Our walks have always been a great source of connection for us. We use this time to discuss our days and to help each other process or solve problems. Holding hands while we walk makes this time that much more special.
She is both unassuming and confident. Gloria seldom takes herself too seriously and at the same time, she emits an incredible inner strength and self-confidence that people in her life are drawn to and find comfort in experiencing.
Her “I want to be with you” look still makes me weak in the knees…Oops! That’s grown folks talk!
She loves to cuddle. At the end of the day, when the day’s responsibilities are behind us, we grab a few moments to just be with each other as we chat and cuddle while watching something mindless on television. A few golden minutes to be sure.
She never quits on herself, or on us. I’m often taken aback by her strong will to never give up. No matter the obstacles, the pain, or the circumstances, she has the ability to reach down and find something more to help keep her moving forward.
She looks beautiful. They say love is blind, but my wife is beautiful in so many different ways.
I can’t imagine life without her. A life worth living is a life worth sharing. Sharing my life with Gloria provides so many blessings. My heart will always remain faithful to hers because it is constantly being filled with her love and grace. I have faith it will always be this way – no matter what.
Have you ever looked out of a window on a beautiful summer’s day and thought about what could have been? Have you ever witnessed a wrong, discovered a need, had a passion that stirred inside your heart, or felt drawn toward a specific path or direction and knew some way, somehow you were meant to do something about it? If you have ever felt those things, perhaps now is your time to begin or continue walking forward in pursuing the purpose, calling, dreams, and visions placed in you. Perhaps now you are being challenged to dream, to stretch yourself beyond what was reasonable, expected, and ordinary.
I want to celebrate wonderful Godly, masculine men everywhere this weekend. Yes, you make mistakes and fall at times. At times, you go left when the best choice is right. You often have difficulty displaying emotion or showing your vulnerability. Yeah, you don’t ask for directions when you know you need to. However, you keep standing and trying. You keep showing up when you don’t know what to say to females for fear of offending. You keep showing up when you want to give up. You keep showing up even though inside you feel lost. You keep showing up when your gender, race, culture, and value as true men is put down. To you strong men who are doing your best… as a Godly woman, I say God did a good thing when He created Man. Keep holding on. Don’t give up. You are God’s sons and fathers. And I am proud of you. Here is a wonderful video of pro football players who formed a Gospel choir for charity. Amen! Happy Father’s day weekend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAaIDQTYIjw
A few years ago, I attended a church and had the pleasure of meeting a unique man. He was unique because of his inner joy, excitement, and genuine love for people. Truly, if you looked up the word, “Sanguine” in the dictionary you would see a bright shining smiling picture of him wildly waving at you. That is Dave Green. Pastor Dave Green as he was known.
Dave and his wife not only served as a life group leaders for me but provided great encouragement, prayer, and direction during a difficult relationship and time in my life. The way he gushed over his wife like they were newlyweds despite their many years of marriage and his great love and excitement for his children gave me a longing and hope for a loving relationship in my life. Today, he and his wife remain friends and are great examples to me.
I asked Dave to write a short story about his experience as a father and son and to offer encouragement to those reading. May you be blessed, as I am by Dave’s words.
A Father’s Influence
I agree with Billy Graham who said, “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.”
 What is the most important factor involved in being a good father? Is it more important to instruct them well or to live a life worth imitating?
Doing both of these the best we humanly fathers can, is important. There are many tips and suggestions for what to do and what not to do to be a good father.
Saying that I truly believe that there are 2 foundation blocks of being a good father, which makes everything else we do to raise them well have the biggest impact.
Being in a close relationship with Christ.
Intentionally being in a great relationship with our children.
These 2 things are going to give us the greatest influence on our children. As human fathers, we are going to miss the mark sometimes and make mistakes. Having Christ in our lives and having the Holy Spirit lead and guide us will help us make better decisions, react to situations correctly, and help us act lovingly. What if we fathers could consistently act out that 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love?
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 ESV
4. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5. or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6. it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
No matter how hard we try to be a good example, lay down clear expectations, compliment, and encourage others, our influence will fall short if we are not in a good relationship. Great relationships take intentional effort.
I did not grow up with an example of any of these things. My biological father left us when I was a baby. I met him later in life and he chose to not be in a relationship (or even in contact) with me and my siblings. And I had 2 extremely abusive stepdads.
Praise be to God that He entered my life when I was a teenager. By His Grace, I made up my mind that I would be in a good relationship with my 3 boys. That does not mean that I was perfect in any way, shape, or form. Other than our heavenly father, that is not possible. And I don’t believe that it is intended to be perfect. Part of what makes those relationships strong is adversity. And getting through them together.
My boys are all adults now. Like me, they are not perfect. However, they are all successful men who are in a close relationship with God and still in a great relationship with me and my wife. I am still able to influence them, but they are also having a tremendous influence on me.
 I hope you are enjoying and finding encouragement through this series. Tomorrow, we will have a post from one of my favorite people and inspirations, David Green. He will be sharing an amazing post called, “A Father’s Influence” about his experience with fatherhood through the good and the bad. Please watch out for it tomorrow.
Today, I wanted to bless men, especially fathers. I predominately speak, teach, counsel, and work to encourage women regarding their past and present issues and situations that impede them from moving toward the future. However, a key in a female’s life stemming from childhood is held in her father. Hate it or appreciate it, the role of a man is vital to the femininity of girls as well as the masculinity of boys. One of the issues we see today in our search for identity stems from the fatherlessness (absent and/or passive fathers) in the homes.
Today’s post is not about blame or beating up men. It is about offering a blessing. In a society where, men are constantly torn down, can’t watch a toothpaste commercial without seeing a half-naked woman, and are continually put in positions of wanting to shut down, I wanted to offer men a blessing and a prayer from God’s perspective.
“Hello, son,
Yes, you are living in times of stress and confusion. I know each day you wake up full of stress and doubt putting on a strong face believing that it is required of you to lead your family. You go to work aiming to prove your worth to others who hold little value than a paycheck yet something burns inside you. You put on a face with the belief that you are strong and need to hold it together yet inside you are crumbling, heartbroken, and want to scream out your pain.
I know that over time, you have tried to shut down your pain with other things that are still not filling you. Around you lies an angry mate who has little respect for you due to your heart that refuses to lead. Your mind is available but your heart and passion to be more have left. Life, pressure, everything has become overwhelming.
Different lies come into your head. You might believe that because something happened to you long ago, you are destined to be what you experienced or what you were told. That is a lie. You might believe that because you feel good when you say there are no boundaries or consequences for your choices, there actually will be none. That is a lie. You might believe that because of wanting the freedom to show emotions and love and gauge uncertainty, you need to choose a certain identity. That is a lie. What you do is not who you are.
I am the Lord God. “The Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” (Rev 22:13) I created you from dust by my very hand to own and rule the earth. You are My prize. Your masculinity is given to you by Me not the world so it cannot be taken by the world. It cannot be taken by abuse, by bullying, by comparisons, by performance, by women, by employment, relationships, families, or anything else. Â
You don’t have to prove yourself to Me or to others that you have what it takes to be a man or to do whatever the world deems is important or masculine. You have My approval and My love so you do not have to wait for a father figure to give it to you to bestow manhood in order for you to be a “real” man. You do not have to hunt down “Bambi”, beat your chest, or go through any rituals in order to be declared a man. I created you once and for all, a man, and I am proud of you.
However, I created you for even more. I created you for the Garden, not the craziness you are experiencing now. No, you were not there with Adam. But when an offensive lineman jumps offside, the whole team, not just the lineman goes back. Unfortunately, when the first Adam made a choice, he made it for everyone to come. Yet, I gave you the gift of the second Adam through my Son, Jesus Christ. He laid down His life so you would not have to pay the price and be able to return to the Garden (Heaven) one day and have a relationship with Me. There is no trick or cost. It is a matter of simply saying, “Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ and desire to follow Him as Savior in my life.”
I created you to lead. Lead when you are dating a woman or in a marriage relationship. Treating her with kindness and understanding, being kind, gentle, and protective of her (1 Peter 3:7).
Lead your wife and family in taking initiative and responsibility for the direction of the home. Listen to your wife and always seek to do what is in her best interests (Ephesians 5:25, 28, Colossians 3:19).
Lead in treating the women in your life not as someone lesser but as an equal and fellow heir of eternal life in Jesus Christ (1 Peter 3:7).
Lead in training your children in My Word. (Ephesians 6:4).
Lead in providing for the home(1 Timothy 5:8).
Lead when you are in a position of temptation, resists the devil and stand firm against the flesh (James 4:7).
Lead in studying My Word (2 Timothy 2:15)Â
Lead in being a man devoted to prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and be a man who loves Me with all of your heart, soul, and strength (Luke 10:27).”
Be Still and Know that I am with you and I am Proud of you!
Your Abba Father
Be encouraged, it’s a journey, not a destination. Charlotte