This past Saturday I was listening to a husband tell a story about a certain low point in his marriage. He said that when things got particularly rough, that he just packed up and left. He left his wife, his children and he even stopped speaking to his parents for years. Thankfully, the story has a happy ending, the husband came to himself, went back home to his family and was able to restore his marriage.
But there is a point in his story that I thought was very poignant and bears repeating.
He said, “I didn’t feel like the 80% my wife was giving me was enough. I felt like I could make up the other 20% somewhere else. I left my family and discovered that all I found was 20%.”
This is what I need you to understand that whatever deficiency there is in our relationships, if any, can and will not be made up outside of the relationship. Please, don’t give up the 80% for 20%.
The Rule:
In our relationships, our partner is most likely only able to offer 80% of what we need. Understand that there will be times when we will find someone who fills in the wholes, offering the other 20%…and because it’s may seem that the 20% has been missing for so long, you think you’ve finally found what you truly need. Please be careful going after the 20%, this can bring forth the risks of cheating, or losing your 80%…and this action will leave you with only 20%. Obviously this is no where near as fulfilling as being with someone who offers 80%.
Don’t ruin a good thing if you got it…if you cheat with that 20%…you may get caught, get the boot, and lose your 80%..
Meaning…
Don’t leave something good to see if you can find better, because once you realize you had the best, the best found better.”
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