Two frogs are stuck in a deep pit. A group of frogs come by and look down at the frogs and says, “Oh boy, you guys are going to die. That pit is too deep to climb out of and there is no way you will ever make it out. I wish you the best. We will come back to say a prayer for your bodies later.”
One of the frogs in the pit gives up after hearing those words and falls over dead. The other frog keeps jumping and jumping until suddenly he makes it out of the pit. He leaps over to the other group of frogs. Surprised, the group of frogs asks, “How in the world did you make it out of the pit?” The frog said, “I’m deaf!” “I can only hear you now because I’m close enough to read your lips. In the pit, I saw all of you jumping and shouting and I thought you were encouraging me to get out of the pit so it made me that much stronger to move.”
Like the frog who gave up, often we allow the discouraging words and beliefs of others to determine how we move forward in our lives. A father’s curse of, “You will never be anything!” can leave a mark of lies in our path that keep us from pursuing the dreams of our heart. A friend’s words of, “You are not good enough!” can place a label over our heart that causes us to believe our God-given skills, abilities, and talents can never be used for greatness or to pour into people’s lives.
I was wrongly told that because of my past abuse and issues I was damaged goods and would never be used by God. Although I went through a difficult time of believing those lies, a wonderful process of counseling and healing came as well. I am very thankful for going through that period and hearing so many people and parents telling me words of discouragement because of the lessons I learned.
We cannot and should not try to stop the sources of discouragement because they will always exist. However, we can choose what we will do with that information. We can either believe that other people who are just as human, flawed, imperfect, and jacked up as we can foretell and design our future and provide hope (which they cannot) or realize hurt people, hurt people and adjust our perspective.
When someone says something to you that is discouraging consider these two things:
1) Is the person sad or bad? In other words, did the person do or say something to you because they are outright evil or intended to do you harm (most are not) or did the person do or say something because they are sad they are not getting their way? (i.e., You don’t do want I want you to do so I tell you, “You were never right for the job anyway!”)
2) Are the words attacking who you are or a legitimate wrong you have done? I don’t care who it comes from, when we are attacked for who we are (i.e., you are not good enough) it produces shame. However, if we have stolen something or hit someone, it is appropriate to be corrected. Shame is feeling bad about who we are while guilt is feeling bad about something we have done. If someone is shaming you, walk away. NOTE: Please don’t confuse Christ’s words with shaming, total opposite. Just needed to say that for anyone who might be confused.
Write me at charlotte@charlottehunt.com and let me know your thoughts.
Charlotte
Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly, Trust Completely tm
Copyright © 2018 by Charlotte D. Hunt All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, or otherwise without written permission from the author except for brief quotations in printed reviews.
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