I remember going through a horrible time dealing with relationships and people in general during my thirties and early forties. Because of past pain, hurts from relationships, and expectations that I assigned to others, I hurt and pushed people who loved me and those who did not deserve it away. In some cases, certain people were not good in my life. However, in most cases I allowed my pain and expectations to rule over the truth of the situation.
Fortunately, my counselor at the time, helped me to see people and myself through a healthy window. He asked, “Are you sad or is the other person bad?” In other words, when I felt disappointment and hurt from others I needed to ask myself, “Am I sad (hurt) because my expectations were not being met and they were not giving me what I wanted or was the person intentionally trying to hurt me or cause me harm.”
In most cases, I found my hurt and disappointment was from others not giving me what I wanted or filling the love, worth, or acceptance needs that I wanted them to fill. In turn, those that cared and loved me the most either left (fulfilling my expectation that I was going to be abandoned anyway due to my past) or loved me from a distance and allowed the Lord to heal my heart and life. I thank God for those who loved me enough to say, “This is between you and God to heal, but know I’m waiting in the background.”
You might be going through a time when it feels like you are alone. You’re angry, frustrated, and believe others are bad because your expectations are not being fulfilled. Hold on. Perhaps, the Lord has you exactly where you need to be, face to face with Him. He wants to stripe away our expectations for others to fill what only He can fill. Only then will others be the compliment instead of the filling, for our life.
Just a thought.
Charlotte
Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly, Trust Completely
Copyright © 2020 by Charlotte D. Hunt All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, or otherwise without written permission from the author except for brief quotations in printed reviews.
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